Skandia and Back Again
by Ms. Comfrey
Summary: No one gets over abuse that quickly, not even Will. Rape, beatings, etc.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first fan fiction. Frankly, I'm nervous. I'm a terrible writer, I know. I have absolutely no idea what to do. Please tell me if something is incorrect. Is the rating to low?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Cabin in the Woods, Skandia** :

"Don't tell him," said Will. More like pleaded. He thought in self-disgust.

"Excuse me?" asked Evanlyn, confused.

"The warmweed. A-and the r-rape. Don't tell Halt. Please." Will all but begged.

"Why? He can help," said Evanlyn.

Will looked away, embarrassed. "What will he think of me? I've worked so hard for his praise. It seems nothing I do is good enough. I don't want him to know. I don't want him to think I'm weak or to pity me or treat me any differently. I want to go home, to forget this even happened."

"Will," said Evanlyn. "This isn't going to go away. How are you going to explain your nightmares, your scars, the way you flinch at a loud noise or sudden movements, how you avoid any physical contact?"

"Well, we can tell him I was a slave, just not mention the warm weed and r-rape," said Will. "Afterall, if we mention that I was beaten and such, that would hardly make me want to be near a person, would it?"

"Will. You've told me yourself that there's no getting around Halt," said Evanlyn.

"Will you at least try? Please?" Will asked. "If Halt finds out, I'll explain myself. Just promise you won't tell Halt without my permission."

Evanlyn sighed. "I don't think you should, but it is your story to tell, not mine. I will do my best to help you keep your secret unless it becomes a danger to you."

"Thanks, Evanlyn." said Will, sincerely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

Near the Border of Skandia:

"Halt?" asked Horace. When there was no reply, he asked again. "Halt?"

Halt sighed. "Yes, Horace?"

"How are we even going to get Will and Evan-Princess away from the Skandians, anyway?" asked Horace.

"What are you talking about, Horace?" asked Halt, shortly.

"Well, he was obviously taken captive, right? So the Skandians won't be too willing to give them up, will they?

Halt turned to look up at him from Abelard. "That's why we write them a missive. From King Henri of Gallica, of course."

"But isn't that forgery?" asked Horace.

"Yes, of course, it is." said Halt.

"But it isn't right! It seems so, so dishonest!" protested Horace.

"We have to get past the border if we want to find Will and Princess Cassandra. Do you have a better idea?" asked Halt.

"We could kill the guards." said Horace.

"That would raise an alarm. We don't want every Skandian out there looking for us." Halt objected. "This is easier. You just act like a high ranking ambassador from Gallica that is too important to be talking to border guards, so I'll speak instead. The guards probably won't think to send a messenger ahead to Hallasholm since that's where we're headed."

"Fine." said Horace, unhappily "We'll do it your way. What am I supposed to be negotiating, anyway?"

"King Henri wants to hire three wolfships for a raiding expedition in Arridia," replied Halt. Seeing Horace's confusion, he added, "Desert people on the other side of the Constant Sea."

"Oh," said Horace, eloquently. "Well, I suppose that will work. After all, it's not King Duncan's seal we're forging, is it?"

"Yes, of course." said Halt, making a mental note to hide his near-perfect copy of King Duncan's seal from Horace."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This jumps to when Evanlyn gets captured and Halt, Horace, and Will save her.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Temujai Camp:**

Stepping out of the trees, Will aimed his bow and fired, quickly. Miss. Miss. Miss. The soldier was getting closer and closer.

Thwack!

An arrow suddenly embedded itself in the man's chest. Relieved, Will looked up to see a familiar figure astride a short, stocky horse. Just as he was about to call out, he noticed a Temujai moving towards Evanlyn.

"Halt! Help her!" he shouted, desperately, knowing, even as he did so, that it was hopeless.

Help came in the form of a young man on a black battle horse. Within moments, the Temujai was unconscious on the ground.

"Horace... Halt..." said Will.

He felt torn, suddenly. All those cold, bitter days he'd wanted nothing more than to see Halt. To be able to talk to him, be with him, but now, now the only thing he could think was to run. To get away from Halt and Horace as quickly as he could.

Stay away from them! A fearful part of his brain said. They're men! Men, like those that hurt you! They're dangerous!

He's Halt! The rational side argued. He wouldn't hurt me!

"Will?" that one word coming from Halt was enough to pull him from his thoughts. Will just stared at him.

Meanwhile, Horace had cut Evanlyn free and was now embracing her.

As Halt dismounted and started walking towards him, Will's internal struggle started back, full force and, as Halt came closer and closer, it became harder and harder to keep his composure.

Suddenly, Halt was only a meter away. That did it. The fearful and irrational part of his mind won, and he took a step back.

Halt stopped. For the briefest of seconds, Will thought he saw surprise on the man's face but it was gone a few seconds later.

Thankfully, Halt stayed where he was, watching him, but keeping his distance.

"Let's go," said Halt, finally. "We should find a place to camp near here."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Campsite, Skandia:**

"... and here we are." finished Horace. "We've told you our story, what's yours?

Will and Evanlyn glanced at each other.

"I'll start, shall I?" said Will. "The Skandians couldn't cross over the Stormwhite, so we stopped at Skorghijl. At first, we were allowed to go anywhere on the island. We tried to escape, but didn't get very far. They kept a pretty close eye on us after that.

A little while after arriving at Skorghijl, we were joined by another crew. Slagor's. He and Erak, the Jarl of the group that captured us, were enemies. Once they got enough ale in their system, however, they were civil enough. For Skandians, that is.

After we got to Skandia, we were put to work as slaves-"

"You were what?" cried Horace in surprise.

"Slaves, Horace. Anyway, they set us to work around Hallasholm, their capital. Evanlyn was sent to the kitchens while I worked in The Yard." said Will.

"Eventually, I became Erak's personal slave." here, Evanlyn picked up the story. "One night, Erak sent for me- no, no nothing like that!" she added hurriedly when Horace growled softly. Even Halt seemed a little relieved.

"He'd come across Will a little while back and seen the change in him. He'd found the boy a worthy opponent and was sorry to see him in his current state, so, he devised a plan to get us out. We made our way up to a hunter's lodge and stayed for the winter. I went out to check our snares when I was captured by a Temujai scout."

"When Evanlyn didn't come back, I got worried and grabbed my bow and the arrows I'd made. I found where she'd been captured and tracked them back to the Temujai camp. You know the rest, really." finished Will.

"What's The Yard?" asked Horace, finally.

"It was where all the yard slaves worked. They also slept in a hut out there. The yard slaves were responsible for things like chopping wood and hauling water. It was also the assignment that killed the most slaves." answered Will.

"I'm sorry this happened." said Halt, quietly.

Will felt a sudden flare of anger and uncertainty. Is that all he has to say? He thought. I've nearly died and been beaten countless times, not to mention raped, starved, and recovered from an addiction and all he can say is that he's sorry this happened? Do I really mean so little to him?

He doesn't know that. Said another part of his brain. All he knows is that you were enslaved. Who's fault is it that he only knows part of the story?

Wasn't this what he wanted, anyway? A small reaction, then everything could go back to normal.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Later the Same Night:**

It was Halt's watch, currently, and he was mulling over what Will and Evanlyn had said.

No matter how many times he turned their story over in his, something seemed out of place. Something was telling him that he had not heard the whole story. The same something that had saved many lives in the past. Including his own.

Perhaps it was the almost practiced way they told the story. The way it fit together so neatly without ever going into any detail. Or the way that the story seemed so idyllic as far as slave stories went. There was work, of course, but they hadn't mentioned any beatings or cruelty of any sort, except being enslaved.

Maybe they assumed that beatings were implied. It's not like he wanted to hear about every single one, anyway. Still, something seemed off. Will's aversion to touch, for instance. Halt wasn't surprised at him being a little jumpy, but he shouldn't be this bad, should he? He expected him to be a bit jumpy, but not this much.

Horace had tried to give him a friendly hug earlier when they'd come across each other near the Temujai camp, but Will wouldn't let him. Evanlyn had called Horace over to help her tack the spare horse, but Halt could've sworn he'd heard Will whimper. Whatever had happened to Will, Evanlyn must know.

There was also the comment he'd made at the end of the story, about being sorry that this had happened. Will had looked angry, almost hurt. In retrospect, the comment was rather brusque, but what else was he supposed to say? I'm glad you're still alive? That would have gone over well, for sure

Will was as honest as Horace, usually so it surprised him that Will was keeping something from him. Even more surprisingly, Will had been quiet and solemn all day, like he was in deep thought. What could have happened to have changed honest, cheerful, talkative Will this much?

Halt sighed. It really wasn't his business. Unless it interfered with training or endangered Will's health, he couldn't force Will to tell him.

Then again, maybe he was just exaggerating things. Will was young, yet. He'd been pretty safe and cared for all his life, to have that stripped away so quickly had to have been a shock.

He was also wondering how to get the word back to Hallasholm. How would Will and Evanlyn react to having to go back there? He wasn't sure how they would keep them from being recognized, anyway. Maybe they could find a stray crew to notify, instead.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Hallasholm:**

Will was practicing archery. He really would rather be doing anything else right now. All his shots were off their mark and he was ready to give up. Practice was a ranger's golden rule, Halt had told him. Then he'd had to go remind him that he'd spent months getting over his warmweed addiction.

He didn't mean to. He couldn't. After all, he doesn't know about any of that, and why is that? Asked an annoying part of his mind. I'm annoying because you know I'm right. You just don't want me to be.

Why did this part of his mind sound so much like Tug?

When they'd first come across Erak and his crew, he'd been worried Halt might find out his secret from Erak, but Erak had been willing to keep his secret from Halt. It would have made them look bad, anyway, if he mentioned that they drugged and raped their slaves.

Erak had also been smart enough to keep his distance, though Will had the suspicion that Halt had noticed. Halt seemed to be getting suspicious, recently. Not that Will could blame him. It was pretty obvious that their story glossed over a lot of details. Besides, having a talkative, confident apprentice turn into a silent, fearful one in less than a year's time would be a nasty shock to anyone, thought Will.

Besides, the beatings were implied, right? This was Halt after all. Horace could be rather dense at times, but surely even he could put two and two together, right? If they couldn't, they were in for a nasty surprise.

Maybe he should have mentioned the beatings. They could be very brutal. Will snorted. They couldn't be any worse than the battle at the Three Step Pass. Or any other battle. Horace didn't even seem affected by a battle, why was he so affected by his enslavement? It wasn't like he could even remember much of it anyway. Maybe it was best he didn't get into Battleschool, after all. If this is what an addiction and some beatings could do to him, what could a full-fledged battle do? He wasn't so sure being a Ranger was right for him, either. Could he really do this?

Of course, said the Tug side of his brain, you haven't had an exactly normal apprenticeship. He didn't know how it was supposed to be, but he doubted that most rangers were attacked by Kalkara in his first year and then getting enslaved in his second year was normal for apprentices.

Still, was he so affected? Was it that bad or was he just weak?


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I do not make any money from this story.**

 **Hallasholm:**

Halt was irritated. Scratch that. He was furious. He'd asked Erak what had happened to Will in Skandia, but Erak had just denied any knowledge of it. All he knew was that he'd seen Will working and felt sorry for him, so he'd devised a way to get Will and Evanlyn out. Then he'd made some flimsy excuse about having to be somewhere and left.

Halt had continued his walk, only to stumble across a skandian beating a slave. To his horror, he saw the whip was long and knotted. Rather than being a single rope, this was made of many strands that came together in one, thick hilt.

Had Will or Evanlyn had been beaten with that? Was it common? Had it just become so normal they just didn't think to mention it? The Skandian had finally stopped beating a slave and moved on to another. He didn't even give a reason for beating this one. Did the man take some form of pleasure from this? Wondered Halt. He turned away. He had better things to do than watch some sadistic Skandian, anyway.

What had unnerved him most, however, was that the slave was barely reacting to the blows and shouts. He'd seen other slaves around the kitchen when he'd gone to get something to eat. He'd not seen a hint of rebellion from any slave. Just what did they do to make their slaves so obedient? He just couldn't see how all the slaves there could be so meek. Especially since half the beatings they seemed to get was on some completely pointless. That should have been enough cause to get at least one slave riled up.

Looking at the thing Will had called a hut made Halt shake his head. It was really only a roof propped up on poles with some burlap sacks that he supposed passed for bedding. He honestly wondered how Will had survived more than a week in these conditions.

Why had Will and Evanlyn omitted so much of the details? Was it to cover something up? Surely they didn't think they were at fault? Or that he or anyone else would be ashamed of him?

Wait a moment... hadn't Crowley said something about that? Something about how people tended to blame themselves irrationally for things out of their control, et cetera, et cetera. Not that he'd paid any attention to him at the time. Where was Crowley when you needed him?

Part of him had thought that talking to Will or Evanlyn would bring answers, but it hadn't. They had offered, at best vague answers and mostly just raised more questions. Anyway, he had to speak to Ragnak about the upcoming battle. He'd think more about it later. If they survived, that is.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: The battle is now over. From here on, the story will only get darker, though, I've read worse on here. Please know that I have never been through any of this. I am researching this as much as possible and doing my very best. If something is wrong, tell me. My goal is not to offend people. Thanks to the person who is checking my work.** **If anyone knows any reliable online resources (edu, org, or gov only, please) about depression, cutting, rape, suicide, and the like, please PM them to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Hallasholm:**

Will was sitting on his bed cleaning and sharpening his knives. He hadn't realized how much he'd been worrying about the upcoming battle, but now that it was over, memories of being a slave kept popping up. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop them. He was getting nightmares now, too.

And then, there was Halt. He seemed more and more suspicious with each passing day. At first, he hadn't seemed bothered by Will giving him extra girth, but now he seemed to be suspicious of the fact.

 _Damnit!_ He thought. What does he want from me! A detailed description of every single beating and rape? Exactly what it felt like to be addicted to warmweed? How cold and miserable the whole experience-

Will gasped and looked down at his hand. He hadn't been paying attention and cut his inner forearm. Inspecting the cut he saw it wasn't overly deep, but it'd probably require stitches. He sighed. Maybe he should just get Halt or Horace to treat it. It wouldn't require too much skill and he was loathe to bother the healers. They had enough on their plates, anyway.

Halt, he decided, would have more experience tending to injuries then Horace. More than enough to stitch up a small cut like this. It wasn't like he needed to hide it from him, anyway. But, at the same he was reluctant to go to the ranger for anything anymore.

Eventually, he got Halt to stitch and bandage his cut. Halt had seemed a little suspicious about how he'd gotten his cut, but said nothing. As he'd gone back to his room, Will couldn't stop thinking about how freeing that small cut had been. How it had kept him from thinking about his enslavement or how suspicious Halt had been. It would be so easy to make some more, smaller cuts that would heal by the time the one Halt had stitched had- No. No, he couldn't do that. He'd never heard of people doing that before, it was abnormal. All he wanted was for things to go back to how they were before. Was that to much to ask?


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: If anyone knows any reliable online resources (edu, org, or gov only, please) about depression, cutting, rape, suicide, and the like, please PM them to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Hallasholm:**

Now that the battle was over, Halt could finally attend to his apprentice. He'd been growing even more distant recently. Not that Halt was surprised, it must be hard to come back to all these memories. But Halt still hadn't figured out what made these slaves so obedient. He was pretty sure that once he found that out, he could figure out what Will was hiding and find a way to help him.

Part of him wanted to leave it alone, let Will handle it, surely he could.

He'd been surprised when Will had come to see him to see him, especially since he had had a bloody arm. He said it was due to being careless when sharpening his knife. It did look accidental from the way it was uneven in depth and only just deep enough to require stitches, but there was something he couldn't quite remember. Something that connected, somehow.

Crowley had mentioned something about it to him once. What was it, again? It was the same conversation that he'd mentioned the blame thing in. He'd said he wanted all rangers to watch their apprentices, especially after hard missions, ones that involved killing, because… because…

He couldn't remember. No matter, he'd ask Crowley when they got back to Araluen. They had to escort the Princess there, anyway.

Maybe Horace knew something. He was the only person Halt hadn't thought to ask yet. With that in mind, he headed to Horace's room.

Horace looked up when Halt entered the room.

"Hello, Halt," he said in surprise. "What can I do for you?"

He was sharpening his sword as well, Halt noticed. Everyone was probably sharpening weapons tonight. He thought idly. Shaking himself imperceptibly, he said, "It's about Will."

"Will?" said Horace.

"Will. Have you noticed anything… off about him lately?" asked Halt carefully, hoping he hadn't.

"Yes," said Horace, frowning slightly. Halt's heart sank. "I assumed he was just tired and hungry. I know they weren't living well up in the cabin and before that, they were barely fed at all.

When Will got back here, he started having nightmares. He said they'd been common enough when they'd stayed at the cabin. For both of them. Why were you asking?"

Halt sighed. "I'd noticed Will was different lately. He seems more withdrawn. I expected that, but I think he's hiding something from us. Whatever it is, it's affecting him. He flinches at sudden noises, movement, or touches and I think he's been avoiding me. Evanlyn has too, though she doesn't mind being near people."

"His story did seem very vague, but I assumed that they just didn't want to relive it. Now that you've mentioned it, Will's been avoiding me, too. I assumed he was in his room, mostly and that there were just too many bad memories for him here." said Horace.

"Yes, well we might just be overreacting. We'll have to wait and see. Goodnight, Horace." said Halt, turning to leave.

"Goodnight, Halt," said Horace, surprised at the sudden end to their conversation. He really shouldn't be. He'd traveled with him for a year, after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: If anyone knows any reliable online resources (edu, org, or gov only, please) about depression, cutting, rape, suicide, and the like, please PM them to me.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Hallasholm:**

Will had been having an increasingly hard time not using his knife to cut himself. Each time he looked at it, he remembered how it felt, how distracting it was. How freeing it had been. Each time, he'd managed to stop himself, but he was certain he was fighting a losing battle.

Taking a walk, Will decided, would help clear his mind. When a sudden scream rent the air, he realized exactly where his legs had taken him. The Yard. And the one beating the slave… it was one of the men that had raped him.

Will could feel the blood draining from his face and his breaths coming in short, harsh gasps. He turned and staggered, half blindly, back to his quarters, thankfully not passing anyone. The moment he got in his room, he shut the door and began cutting himself.

The first cut made him gasp, the pain sweeping away all rational thought from his mind. Too soon, the pain began to ebb, so he made another, parallel to this one, but not as deep. And another. And another. Soon, he had four cuts along his arm and he could think more clearly.

Will inspected the cuts. None were actually deep enough to require stitches. Only the first one might scar and even that wouldn't be too bad. He'd need to rebind the arm, though. Luckily, the bandage would hide any other cuts he made.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. How many people did he know that did this? None. So why was he doing this? He didn't know what had come over him. That was the part that scared him the most. Had he been somewhere on a mission, something like that could compromise the whole thing. Would this always affect him this much?

It hasn't been a year, what did you expect? Said the Tug side of his brain. That you'd go back to normal as soon as you got free?

That had been exactly what he had thought. He'd thought he could go back to normal, that he wouldn't have nightmares and he wouldn't be so jumpy or have to ever think about Skandia. He realized now how ridiculous that had been, but at the time, he had honestly thought that would happen.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

"I'm worried about him." Halt was sitting in Crowley's office with Gilan and Crowley.

"Who?" asked Crowley, without looking up from his paperwork, Halt noted in annoyance.

"Will. He's different. He barely talks, flinches at loud noises, sudden movements, or if someone touches him." replied Halt.

"Yes, I'd noticed that, too," said Gilan. "I assumed it was just from being a slave."

"Yes, that's what I thought, but he's been having nightmares, Horace says. And the slaves in Skandia, they're too obedient. Not a single sign of rebellion and some Skandians don't even give a reason for punishing them. And there's another thing - Will's story is far too neat. It sounds practiced and doesn't go into detail. It's too idyllic for a slave story." said Halt.

"Hmmm… What exactly do you want us to do?" asked Crowley, finally looking up from his paper work.

Halt thought for a moment. "I want you two to help keep an eye on him, tell me how he reacts to you and others. I also wanted to ask you about that meeting you had us attend a few years back. The one that only included rangers with apprentices. It had something to do with a tendency to blame yourself irrationally or something like that. I can't quite remember, but you wanted us to watch our apprentice for signs of it…" Halt trailed off.

"Was it the one about watching your apprentices for depression? I can recommend some books, I'm sure the King would let you read them," suggested Crowley.

"Yes, that was it!" said Halt.

Gilan leaned forward in his seat, "You think Will's depressed? Why?"

Halt frowned slightly, thinking. Finally, he said, "Will has been reacting to some of my comments badly. I'll admit some were rather short, but before this, he wouldn't have batted an eye, at these comments. Now, however, he seems to get hurt or upset easier. Also, one night, he came to my room, bleeding. He said he'd cut it sharpening his knife. I don't know if it was self-inflicted, but it did need stitches."

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Gilan, curiously.

"Sometimes, a person who has suffered trauma of some kind will cut themselves, the physical pain helps numb the emotional pain," replied Crowley. "That makes sense, but if you've got this much figured out, why come to us? Why not confront that oberjarl, Erak, wasn't it? Or Will of the Princess. Even that knight, Horace, would be better."

Halt snorted. "Horace? He doesn't know what subtle means. I've tried asking all of the others. They claim no knowledge whatsoever besides what you know now."

"I'm willing to help," said Gilan. "I owe them that much, at least."

"Gilan," said Crowley wearily. "It wasn't your fault." turning to Halt, he said, "I'm willing to help as much as I can, as well."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I've had a bad case of writers block and a fairly busy schedule, so I would not expect a chapter tomorrow. I'll also warn you that there is a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter. Like before, any good resources on depression, rape, suicide, etc. I would love to know about.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Will was practicing his knife work, again. His ability had severely diminished while he was in Skandia. He was finding that he was only now getting his old skill back. Halt hadn't tried to teach him anything since he was still regaining his strength. He was glad for that because Halt had been teaching him hand-to-hand combat. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle that. Even so, the fact that Halt hadn't even come to see if he was up to scratch, made him wonder if he was really doing as well as he thought he was doing.

"Will?" asked a voice, suddenly.

Will spun in surprise to find Gilan standing only a few meters from him. Forcing himself, not to flinch, he tried to smile.

"Hello, Gilan. How long have you been here?"

"Not long," said Gilan. He nodded towards the target. "I know it's not my praise you want, but your throwing looks good."

"Thanks, Gilan." said Will.

"Anyway, I came to ask if you want to work on silent movement. I am free right now. Until Crowley comes up with another way to get me to do his paperwork for him, that is." offered Gilan.

Will could not think of something he'd rather do less, but he nodded anyway. Gilan was considered one of the best at silent movement.

"Perfect! You hide, and I'll come find you. 10 minutes. Go!" said Gilan.

Will raced off, relieved to be away from Gilan. Finding a suitable tree, he scaled it and waited.

A little while later, he was nearly startled from the tree when Gilan found him.

"Not bad, Will," said Gilan. "I- Will? Will!"

Will scrambled down the tree, and began to run off, but Gilan stopped him.

"Will?" he asked, gently. "Will, what's wrong?"

Despite Will's best efforts not to, he began to tremble. Imperceptibly at first, but growing, until tremors wracked his frame.

"Will!" said Gilan in alarm. Concerned, he reached to touch him, but Will flinched violently away. Seeming to understand his desire for space, Gilan took a step back, but the moment he did so, Will fled.

Gilan's cry was lost in the wind as he fled, thinking only to get somewhere safe.

Before he knew it, he was in his room, his knife in hand, and several cuts already marking his wrist. Before he could cut himself more, however, he heard a voice cut through the haze in his mind.

"Will?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Will froze. I must have forgotten to shut the door! What should-

"Will! What are you doing?" Crowley came striding into the room.

Will reluctantly turned to face him. "C-Crowley. I-I was just-just…"

"Just what?" Crowley asked, heatedly.

Will sighed. "I don't know," he said finally.

Crowley's expression did not change.

Will sighed. "I really don't know. It… helps, somehow. It distracts me, takes the pain away."

"What helps?" asked Crowley, his tone gentler now.

"The cuts, they are freeing. It makes me forget the…" Will cut himself off before he could finish the sentence, but it was too late.

"What, Will? What does it make you forget?" Crowley's voice was still gentle, but Will knew that he wasn't going to let this go.

"I-it makes me forget what happened in Skandia," he said finally.

"What happened in Skandia?" asked Crowley.

"Nothing they didn't do to everyone else," Will hedged.

"Will, I'm just trying to help you. Would you prefer Halt? Or Horace? Or Gilan?" suggested Crowley.

Will shook his head. Not Halt. Anyone but Halt. Horace would be of no help… Gilan? He didn't know the man very well, but better than Crowley. He would rather not see his Commandant's reaction, anyway.

"Gilan, I guess," he said finally.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, I've been so stuck on this story, and I'm attempting to put the finishing touches on another, oh well.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Will had hoped that he could get out of telling Gilan, but Crowley had taken him straight there, told Gilan there was something he wanted to say, and left.

Will and Gilan stared at each other for a few moments, before Gilan finally said, "What did you want me to know?"

"Nothing, honestly. Crowley walked in on me using my saxe to cut myself and-"

"He what?" shouted Gilan, standing up in surprise.

Will flinched back out of surprise, more than anything, but Gilan noticed, he suddenly seemed confused, "What's wrong?"

Will mumbled something.

Gilan sighed, "Halt- we, that is Crowley, Halt, and I think there is something more to your story. Halt brought it up yesterday. We've noticed that you have been easy to scare, loud noises, sudden movements, sharp words, any of it will make you flinch. Touch or even just close proximity makes you panic, and you've been avoiding us."

Will didn't say anything.

"We are worried, any of things in Skandia was cause enough to make someone jumpy, that's not what's worrying us, it's that you are still jumpy. You're in a completely different part of the world than Skandia, you're not near any Skandians, Morgarath and Ragnak are dead, you're just about as safe as you can be, you've been that way for weeks. Will, please, just tell us, what's wrong?" Gilan realized he was begging by the end of his sentence, and tried to calm himself. Really, what was so bad Will couldn't tell them?

Will sighed, "I… I don't really remember a lot of it, they drugged us to prevent escapes or rebellions. With warmweed. But, every day, just for a couple hours or so, there was an overlap in drugging time, I could think coherently and remember things that happened the past few days. Apart from those moments, I can just remember the feelings, no specific feelings.

The Skandians were aware of this, I think. Most of the beatings seemed to take place around then, at any rate. They- it- that was also prone to-," Will paused, taking a deep breath he said, "That was when they came in for the day and they would rape us."

Will found he couldn't look Gilan in the eye. Instead, eyes were downcast, looking at his feet and his face was turned slightly away from Gilan. Why was he even telling Gilan this? How would Crowley react? Was he going to tell-

Will looked up suddenly, "Don't tell Halt," he blurted out suddenly.

Gilan seemed to startle from whatever daze he had been in. "Why not?" he asked.

"I don't want him to know. What will he think of me?"

"Well, I don't know Halt, I don't think anyone can claim that, but I wonder how we've been so blind. It fits very well, with what we know. Secondly, I'm impressed you bounced back so easily, I wouldn't have."

"A lot of it's a facade," Will admitted. "It helps if you have a rather hazy memory, too. It's not clear really, I was still partially under the effects of the warmweed."

"I'm sorry, Will, but I'm going to have to tell Halt, at least, and he'll tell Crowley," said Gilan, regretfully.

"Why?" asked Will. "Evanlyn knows, she agreed not to tell as long as I explained it myself if I was caught."

"I don't want to Will, but warmweed is sometimes used medicinally, we can't risk people not knowing and giving it to you, therefore, Halt needs to know," said Gilan pleadingly.

"Alright, fine, but why does Crowley need to know?" asked Will.

"As the Commandant, he keeps track of all major injuries rangers or their apprentices acquire so that they won't be sent on jeopardizing missions as far as possible. For instance, someone who lost their apprentice to a scotti raid wouldn't be sent to negotiate a peace treaty," explained Gilan.

Will thought for a few moments, looking for any way out, but he finally said, "Fine, tell them."

"Would you rather tell them now or later?" asked Gilan.

"Now," said Will.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I'm sorry about not updating. I'm still rather stuck and I wouldn't expect an update to soon. Definitely by next Saturday though. I'm just warning you now, though: my grammar and punctuation is fluctuating, so it's not very smooth.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Halt looked up from the arrows he was refletching.

"Gilan, what are you doing here?"

"I don't have anything to say, he does," said Gilan, stepping aside so Will could enter.

Halt's mood changed abruptly. He knew Gilan well enough to know he was close to tears. And it included Will.

Will looked nervous. Finally, he said, "Well, I told you about Skandia and, well, it wasn't all of it, really."

Halt bit back a sarcastic retort. That wouldn't be helpful right now. Instead, he just waited. If anything Will looked even more awkward.

"Well, you see, apart from the beatings and starvation, they also drugged us, so I don't remember everything, but Evanlyn does, she wasn't drugged and some of the memories I do have are of them raping me and…" Will was well aware that he was babbling now, but he couldn't help himself. When he finally stopped, Halt was silent. He was just sitting there staring at him.

"Halt?" he asked, worried.

Halt stood up abruptly and said, "I'm going to go for a walk."

He was gone the next moment, leaving Will and Gilan staring at where he'd been sitting.

Will dropped into a fetal position, burying his face in his knees.

"He hates me," he whispered.

Gilan seemed to startle out of his daze.

"He doesn't hate you, Will. It's just a lot to take in."

Will began to cry.

"What if he doesn't want me to be his apprentice?"

Gilan slipped down to sit next to him.

"If he doesn't, he'll have quite a few people to answer to, me included."

"When has that ever stopped Halt?" asked Will.

Gilan sighed.

"He's just startled. Halt doesn't do well with surprises. He wants you. He's been really worried for you. We all have. Even Horace didn't need to be told."

Will sighed.

"Am I so bad at hiding things?"

Gilan berated himself inwardly. He was trying to make Will feel better, not worse.

"Give it time, You've only had a year. Horace knows you well, too. He is better at those things than we give him credit for, I think."

There. Will couldn't possibly take that the wrong way.

Will's tears had mostly subsided now, but all he said was, "If Halt still wants me."

Gilan tried not to groan. Was he really this bad? "If Halt doesn't, there will be others. You've killed a Kalkara, had a crucial role in the war against Morgarath, survived a Skandian winter with almost no supplies, and brought the princess home safe. What more could a man want?"

"Someone who wasn't addicted and doesn't flinch at every little thing," supplied Will.

"Will, it's been a year. Don't tell Halt and Crowley this, but they both think that you'll become one of the greatest rangers in history," confided Gilan.

"Really?" Will sounded disbelieving.

Finally! Maybe I'm getting better at this!

"Really. And f Halt doesn't want you, don't be surprised if you get quite a few invitations from other rangers, myself included," said Gilan.

Will looked much better now. "Thanks, Gilan," he said quietly. "I think I'll speak to Horace now. He deserves to know."

Gilan watched as he passed. It was a step in the right direction, but he was not pleased with Halt. Just because that man locked his emotions away didn't mean everyone did. Hmmm… perhaps he should write Lady Pauline. She was the only one Halt listened to after all. That could wait, though. He had somewhere to be.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Halt felt almost dizzy. Raped. Drugged. Will, his Will.

Standing, he managed to say in a relatively normal voice, "I'm going to go for a walk."

He rushed out of the room and out of the castle, not even stopping to grab his cloak and weapons or even to acknowledge Crowley. He could have passed Duncan as well. All he could think of was to get out of the castle. Away from Will and Gilan. Away from anything and everything. He found himself at a nearby stream, just managing not to fall in. He was pretty sure someone could try to kill right now him and he wouldn't notice.

How long he stood there, he didn't know, but suddenly, a voice hissed, "What do you think you're doing?"

Halt turned to find Gilan standing there looking murderous. Halt just stared at him dully.

"How could you do that to Will? He thinks you hate him and that you don't want him as an apprentice anymore!" Gilan was in his face, now, but Halt still didn't react.

"He finds something wrong with himself at every turn and guess who ended up dealing with it? Me!" Gilan sounded hysterical now and, when he saw words weren't getting through to Halt, he punched him in the face. Crazed as he was, the blow mostly missed, only glancing off Halt, but it did the trick.

As if surfacing from a prolonged stay underwater, Halt shook his head.

"Gilan?" he asked. "Why are you here?"

Gilan looked even more enraged.

" _I'm here_ because I've spent the past TEN MINUTES calming down **Your** apprentice because he thinks **You** hate him and don't want him anymore!" shouted Gilan. He was breathing hard with emotion and looked ready to strike him again.

"Why does he think that?" asked Halt, confused.

"Well, let's see. He tells you something he's been hiding for weeks, something very traumatic and you just walk away. Then when he starts crying it's your old apprentice that comforts him instead of you. That shows you love him, doesn't it?" asked Gilan sarcastically. He was slowly calming down but was still obviously angry.

Halt sighed.

"Sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit, Gilan. It isn't wit at all," he said automatically.

Gilan opened his mouth, angery once more, but Halt continued, "I should go see Will."

Gilan closed his mouth and nodded. Suddenly, he looked rather sheepish.

"Sorry about your cheek."

"Did I try to dodge?" asked Halt.

"Well no, but-"

"Then it's my fault," said Halt.

Gilan nodded again and turned to leave.

"Gilan," called Halt. "Thank you."


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: I've finally gotten over my bout of writer's block, but I'm even busier, sorry. I should be able to get a chapter every other day. No promise though**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Will had just come out of Horace's room when Halt found him. He looked at him uncertainly.

"Halt?" he asked.

Halt stared at him questioningly. Somehow he got the feeling that Halt was feeling just as awkward as he was. Was this about his apprenticeship? Despite Gilan's reassurance, he was still sure that it was only a matter of time…

"If this is about my apprenticeship-" began Will.

"No, no. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Gilan told me that you thought that I didn't want you as my apprentice anymore," said Halt.

Will suddenly found it hard to look Halt in the eye, so he settled for his toes instead.

Halt took a deep breath and said slowly, "I'm sorry about that. I still do want you as my apprentice, Will. If you still want it."

Will's head shot up to look at Halt.

"Really?" he breathed.

When he nodded Will smiled, his first true smile in months.

"Yes, of course I do! Thanks!" he said enthusiastically.

Halt nodded. Then he frowned, realizing that he'd have to tell Crowley.

"Will," he said. "You do realize that Crowley has to know about this, right?"

Will's smile died on his face.

"Yeah, Gilan told me that, too. I was just headed there. Do you want to come?"

Halt hesitated. He didn't really, but he sensed that Will wanted some moral support so he nodded and they left to go see Crowley.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

"Yes, is that all, Will?" said Crowley, looking up from his notes.

"Yes," said Will.

"Thank God," said Crowley, leaning back in his chair. "Anything more and treaty or no, I would have been tempted to strangle those skandians myself."

Will shuffled his feet slightly, unsure of what to say to that statement, luckily, Crowley's next statement prevented him from having to say something.

"Will, you can go, Halt, I want too talk to you about the first year apprentices…" Crowley sat up again and began looking through his paperwork.

Will took his chance and hurried out the door as fast as was possible without looking like he was running away. Part of him was annoyed that Crowley, Gilan, and Halt took it so calmly when he was still having nightmares about it while another part was glad that they took it so well because now he wouldn't be lying to anyone, but it could also be left behind where it belonged.

Halt grumbled half-heartedly about staying behind to talk to Crowley, but secretly, he was rather glad. Otherwise, he would have had to go train Will or find an excuse not to. Really, Will didn't need to do much besides learn hand to hand combat and keep his skills sharp. He had been intending to start teaching Will tomorrow, but that was obviously out of the question now. The question now was how was he going to get Will ready in time?

As if reading his mind, Crowley said, "What are we going to do about Will's hand to hand assessment?"

Halt looked up at him sharply in surprise.

"Oh come on, Halt. Did you will think that I would let you assess first years? They would undoubtedly fail and, even if they did pass, you'd scare them away, anyway," laughed Crowley.

Halt glared at him but didn't reply to that comment. Instead, he said, "I can't force him to practice hand to hand if he's just going to freeze up, which he undoubtedly will. I suppose he'll just have to retake the year and I'll be stuck with him for six instead."

"Is there anyone who he doesn't freeze up around that could teach him?" asked Crowley.

Halt shook his head, "Only Princess Cassandra and I doubt that King Duncan wants his heir brawling in public."

Crowley sighed. "What about Gilan or that young man… Horace? He likes them."

Halt shook his head again, "He'd freeze up with either of them. He hates contact of any sort but it's worse with men."

Crowley sighed, "Alright. Oh and by the way, I found those books you wanted, they are over there," he said pointing to a stack of books by the door. "The books say touching them is a good way to get them used to nonviolent contact again, maybe it will help."


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

As soon as he was far enough away, Will began sprinting, not watching where he was going or noticing who he passed. After about ten minutes, he finally slowed to a quick walk and after a little while longer, he stopped entirely. Sinking to the floor, he just sat there thinking.

He was amazed at how well they had taken it, not even Crowley had seemed to think much of it. He had been worried about their reaction, but until now, he hadn't realized how stressful it had been. He realized, suddenly, that none of them had really seemed that surprised, the cutting had shocked them, but the fact that had been raped didn't. The warmweed hadn't either.

How could he be sure that they hadn't known all along? Or that they just didn't want him to know how they really felt? Part of him was relieved that it could lie in the past now but the larger part of him was worried about the fact that he had no idea how they really felt.

Will sat there for a little while longer before realizing that he had no idea where he was.

"You there!" said a voice, suddenly.

Will's head snapped to his left, a man, obviously a knight if his sword and dress was anything to go by, was walking towards him with a strange sort of lurch to his step. He scrambled to his feet, unsure of where to go or what to do.

His chin was grabbed roughly as the man looked him over. Will could clearly smell the alcohol on him. He was drunk.

"Yes, you'll do nicely," the man said as he began hauling Will away.

At first, Will couldn't understand what was happening, but that soon became apparent as the man kissed him roughly. This man thought he was a castle servant.

What was the person doing? Didn't he realize he was an apprentice ranger?

With a sinking feeling, Will realized that he'd left not only his cloak, but his weapons, as well, in his room. He was terrified, not knowing what to do. All at once, he began to struggle but was silenced with a blow.

"Halt!" he cried, desperately. It was the same cry he'd uttered so many times in Skandia. Just like before, he knew it was just as hopeless.

Another blow.

"Silence!" the man commanded, before pulling him in for another kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I had so much fun writing this chapter and #16.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Halt left Crowley's office and went to see Gilan immediately. He was not the one who should be dealing with this kind of things. These things were _fragile_ , besides, Will would get worried if he touched him more than was strictly necessary, best leave that to Gilan. Speaking of Gilan, what about that boy had made him want to get another? Gilan was bad enough, why did he choose Will as well?

Arriving at Gilan's room, he stood outside, hesitating, how exactly was he going to go about this. He couldn't just say, "Hey Gilan, I need your help, these books say that positive physical contact can sometimes help people who've been raped. I obviously can't do it, Will would get scared, of course, he might start avoiding you if you start, but do you want to help me with this?" The problem was, that was exactly what he had to say, just more subtly. He hated subtlety. He liked things to be plain and to the point.

Halt tried not to groan. Why did he always get into the worst situations?

He didn't have any more time to think, because just then, Gilan stepped out of the room and nearly walked straight into him.

"Halt!" said Gilan in surprise.

Halt grunted.

"You should have been able to know I was there long before now," said Halt.

Gilan looked sheepish, "I wasn't expecting you. I was just going for a walk around the castle, do you want to join me?"

"You won't be _expecting_ the man who tries to stab you in your sleep. Are you just going to let him?" countered Halt. Nevertheless, he fell into step with Gilan.

Gilan tried not to sigh.

"I assume you had a reason for visiting me besides trying to keep me on my toes?"

"Yes, actually, it's about Will," said Halt.

It was strange how the mere mention of a single name could change the atmosphere of a room this drastically, thought Halt.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Gilan before thinking the question through. Seeing Halt open his mouth, he quickly amended the statement to, "What is wrong that I don't already know about?"

"According to the books, Will needs to have encouragement, someone to talk to, and positive physical contact," said Halt.

Gilan grimaced.

"Yes, you aren't really great with that, are you?" he said.

"No, that's why I need you to help me. Will would think I'm pitying him, but he barely knows you. He knows that you're exuberant and easily excited, he won't notice the odd encouragement or touch quite as much," said Halt.

"Halt!" came a desperate cry suddenly.

Halt stopped walking for a few seconds before sprinting down the corridor, searching for the source of the cry.

"Halt!" came Will's voice again.

Running through the twisted maze of hallways, Halt finally found Will and what he saw made his blood boil.

An unknown knight had Will backed against the wall and was kissing him fiercely.

Halt stormed forwards, his vision reddening slightly. In one swift motion, he pulled the obviously drunk man off Will and had a knife at the man's throat, causing the man to freeze. Before he could slit it and end the miserable excuse for a man's life, however, Gilan, who had finally caught up with him, intervened.

"Halt, wait."

Halt growled at him, his face a mask of rage, seeming for once, more animal than man. He moved his saxe closer to the man's throat.

" _Halt!_ You've got him at your mercy. If you kill him now, you'll not only lose your oakleaf, you'll either spend time in jail or be executed yourself! Not even Duncan or Crowley can help you out of this!" shouted Gilan.

Halt merely sneered at him and brought the knife closer. Blood began to seep out of a shallow cut.

"Think of Will, Halt! Will this really help him? He needs you, pointless revenge won't help him! You cut that man's throat, and you've lost Will! You've lost your life, Will's life, who knows what Crowley and I will do! The King favors you, too! What will we do?" shouted Gilan, desperately.

Will's name seemed to stop Halt and the knife stilled.

Seeing this, Gilan pressed his advantage, "If you bring him before the King, you keep your life and the rest of ours and the man still gets punished, maybe even by death. I don't know what will happen, but it will be better. _Please_ Halt," Gilan pleaded.

Slowly, agonizingly, he lowered the knife and sighed. His vision cleared and his face once again assumed its usual mask of indifference.

"Fine," he sighed, letting the man go.

The man, angered and now realizing he was free, took a swing, but inebriated as he was, missed entirely. Halt retaliated with a punch to the nose, breaking it and sending him sprawling.

Looking over at Gilan, Halt shrugged innocently.

"He was resisting arrest."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I like Crowley, honestly, I do. He just has a lot on his mind unlike Halt and Gilan.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

Gilan shook his head, of course Halt would do something like that. He half wished he'd been the one to think of that, though.

Will's sudden whimper brought him back to the present, however. He watched as Halt bent down to touch him. As he did so, Will lashed out at him, catching Halt off guard and landing a very weak blow to his shoulder.

"Easy, Will," said Halt, soothingly.

As Halt moved closer, Will lashed out again at him, but Halt as prepared this time and avoided it, and reached out and put his hand on Will's forehead.

"Get away from me!" screamed Will, "Halt!"

Halt moved back, unsure of what to do.

"If I didn't know better, I would say he was sick, he has a temperature. He hasn't shown any sign of feeling bad, though and he was fine just thirty minutes ago. Sickness wouldn't set in that quickly normally, Would it?" said Halt.

"Did Crowley or Will not tell you?" asked Gilan.

"Tell me what?" asked Halt.

"Will didn't come to me on his own, Crowley found him cutting himself with his saxe and brought him to me," said Gilan.

Halt closed his eyes.

"And Crowley didn't treat him? How did a man like that ever become Commandant, I don't know. It must be an infection. Let's take him to the healers," said Halt.

That ended up being easier said than done. Will thrashed against them desperately, calling for Halt, Evanlyn, Gilan, even Horace. Anyone that could possibly help him.

After minutes of struggling, Halt ran out of patience and, catching Will's wrist and put him to sleep.

A surprised Gilan caught him as he fell.

"What did you do to him?" asked Gilan, having not seen Halt catch Will's wrist.

"Pressure point," said Halt, shortly.

They took Will to the healer quickly. The healer was a short man with graying brown hair and a friendly smile. He took Will pulse and temperature and checked his arm, which had a yellowish green pus coming from some of the cuts, which he drained quickly and rebandaged before turning to Halt and Gilan.

"He's got an infection in three of those cuts. I don't know how he got those cuts, but they look like someone did them on purpose. It's a bad infection, it'll probably be awhile before we get it all out of him, the best we can do is to keep the bandage clean, drain the discharge, give him the medicine, and try to calm his fever. It very common and isn't necessarily life threatening, but I've had plenty who did die. Otherwise, we can't do much but wait and see. I'm sorry," he said.

Halt and Gilan just stood at there, stunned. Then Halt stood and swept from the room.

"Halt! Wait! Where are you going?" called Gilan.

"I'm going to kill Crowley, the King, and those damned Skandians," replied Halt, calmly.

"You can't do that! You might as well have killed that man!" cried Gilan.

"I would have, but you stopped me."

""Halt, I know you're angry, but this pointless revenge won't help anyone," said Gilan, reasonably.

Halt sighed, "Fine, I'll just throw them in the moat, fair?"

"Only if you want to get us killed, yes," replied Gilan.

"Fine, scratch the King. Just Crowley, and those Skandians," said Halt.

"Those Skandians are actually probably honorable. I know Will likes that crew, their Jarl actually saved Will and the princess. And I don't think you want to lose your oakleaf. I'll help you yell at Crowley, though. He deserves that much," said Gilan.

"He deserves to get thrown into a moat," mumbled Halt.

"I agree, but Will needs you, so we'll have to settle for just talking to him," said Gilan.

Halt sighed, "Fine. But the moment I retire, I'm throwing him into a moat."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: This was terrible to write. I still don't like it. It feels so insensitive somehow. There are some writers who can write so poignantly. I tried to, but I couldn't do it.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

When Crowley called enter, he did not expect Halt to come storming in, but storm in he did.

"Crowley, what in the name of Gorlog's Beard were you thinking!" he thundered.

Crowley blinked in surprise, "What are you talking about, Halt?"

"Gilan finally decided to tell me Will had started cutting, even though you were the one to find that out!" Halt shouted at him.

Crowley looked confused, "I know, but I thought that you already knew, you mentioned it when you asked for the books, or that Gilan or Will would tell you."

"Well I didn't know and they didn't tell me. What I do know is that you hauled Will off to Gilan instead of treating his cuts!" shouted Halt.

Crowley sighed, "I didn't think about it, you're right, Halt. I should have, I'm sorry. I think something else has happened, what is it."

"Will has a few infected cuts and the healer told me that, while common, many people who get this infection die from it. I'm telling you now, if Will doesn't live, you're a dead man, Crowley. I don't care what we've been through or what the repercussions are."

With that, Halt swept from the room, leaving behind a stunned Crowley and a sheepish Gilan.

"Yes, well. I'm sure he wouldn't really kill you, Crowley. He's just worked up," said Gilan.

Crowley sighed, "I've never heard Halt say something he didn't actually mean, Gilan."

"Yes, well you aren't the first person he's wanted to kill today. One knight tried to rape Will earlier today. Halt would have cut his throat if I hadn't talked him out of it," said Gilan.

"What knight? Did you know him?" asked Crowley, sharply.

"No, but he was drunk and sturdily built. He had brown hair and a plain sword. I think his crest may have been a stallion," Gilan replied.

"Hmmm… I'll look into it, Gilan, thank you," said Crowley, returning to his work.

Gilan nodded, "I should go find Halt, he's probably with Will right now. Or trying to dunk the skandians."

Gilan walked out the door, only to have a messenger race up to him.

"Excuse me, sir, I was told to find you and tell you that the healer needs to see you and the other ranger right now, sir. It's very urgent, sir. A matter of life and death," said the messenger.

"Right, I'll go straight there. Halt, the other ranger, should be at the boats right now." said Gilan.

Without waiting for an answer, he ran of towards the healer's. When he got there, he burst in without a knock to find Will lying on the bed, flushed with fever. The healer was checking his temperature and cuts. He didn't look up when Gilan entered.

"His fever is rising and nothing I do is helping. I fear that I won't be able to break it. He is lucid currently, but that won't stay for long. You have fifteen minutes at most, so you should say your goodbyes now."

Gilan looked shocked.

"I don't understand, his body is refusing all the treatments I give him. I need to know more about his medical records, some of these cuts should be healed by now and none of the infected ones are getting better. What's happened to this boy?" said the healer.

Before Gilan could answer, Halt burst in with Horace and Evanlyn hot on his heels.

"What's happened to Will?" he asked.

If the situation were not so dire, Gilan would have shaken his head. This was the calmest Halt had been in hours. When his apprentice was about to die.

"He isn't responding to any of the treatments. Something is wrong, I need his medical records. Something in his system is neutralizing the medicines or he isn't affected by any of them. I don't understand. Soon he will become feverish and hallucinate. People don't always come back from fevers with this infection. I fear that he will not. You should say your goodbyes now," said the healer again.

"He has been raped and addicted to warmweed. Otherwise, nothing of note but what you see," said Halt.

The healer shook his head. "None of those things should affect the treatment. Another thing must be at work. Currently he's at about 38.5. If it gets any higher, he will not respond to us. I doubt you'll ten minutes now. I'll be just outside the door if you need me."

Once the healer left, the others just stood there. Will was most likely going to die in minutes.

"Oh Will, I wish this hadn't happened, but I hope you'll be happy in the next life," said Evanlyn, sadly. She walked over to him and gave him a hug, breaking the tableau.

"Evanlyn," said Will, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry, too, but I will see you later, hopefully."

Evanlyn nodded, tears streaming down her face. She stepped back and Horace too her place.

"I don't really know what to say except that I'm sorry I didn't stay behind. Maybe I could've helped. Maybe this wouldn't have happened, otherwise. I can't say we have too many fond memories, but I will miss you, Will," he said.

"I will too, Horace. I don't think this could have turned out otherwise, but I'm glad I will die Will, not as a slave in Skandia. May we meet again," said Will.

Gilan took Horace's spot near the bedside.

"I'm sorry, Will. So sorry. If I hadn't left, this wouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry," said Gilan, tearfully.

"No, Gilan, this was better. Araluen is safe this way. What is an apprentice, compared to the safety of Araluen? I would give my life again, I would go through all of that, if it meant my friends were safe. Goodbye, Gilan," said Will.

Halt stepped forwards and took Will's hand, but he couldn't say anything except, "Will."

"Halt. Tell Alyss, Jenny, and George I will miss them. I hope to see you again. You were the world to me the past few years, you know? In Skandia and after, you were the thing that drove me on, bit even that ran thin eventually, I guess," said Will.

Halt nodded, finding his voice, though it was choked.

"I'm sorry, Will. I am truly proud of you. You were braver and cleverer and more loyal than I ever imagined when I apprenticed you. You were as good as a son to me, truly. We won't forget you, Will."

Will nodded, "I will wait for you in the next life. Goodbye."

Halt nodded, still holding Will's hand and looking into Will's eyes.

A few minutes later, the healer came back in. He moved to Will, allowing Halt to stay by Will's side. He checked his temperature again.

"It's risen to 42.2. He won't be lucid anymore. I'll keep trying, but at this point, the most we can hope to do is ease his passing a bit. You should leave. All that's left is watching him go," said the healer.

Horace nodded, gently pulling Evanlyn out of the room. Golan followed suit. Halt stayed.

"I see death everyday as a ranger, this isn't new. He was my apprentice, I might not have been able protect him, but the least I can do is stay with him until he passes," he said.

"Would Will really want you to do this, Ranger?" asked the healer, gently. He'd seen this happen too often and knew this could make it worse.

"He would want me to do whatever made it easiest for me," said Halt, stubbornly.

The healer said no more and continued to work. After half an hour of work, he stood up quietly and collapsed into a nearby chair.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

After half an hour of work, he stood up quietly and collapsed into a nearby chair. Leaning back, he closed his eyes wearily. He really was getting too old to be doing this. Then he opened them slowly, to find the ranger staring at him, distress plain on his face, clearly asking the question he would not or could not voice, is he dead.

Smiling slightly to the ranger, he said, "His fever seems to have broken, but it is hard to tell. It is still dangerously high, however, it isn't rising anymore. I would like to say that it is a little bit lower, yet I fear that that is false hope on my part. He could go into convulsions at any time and die, though, so don't get your hopes up, he still has a very high chance of dying. It's still at about 41.5, almost a degree lower. His temperature has been fluctuating, but that's the lowest it has been. I still can't do much now, and if he goes into convulsions, he'll die at this point. To some degree, he has to want to live in order to survive this infection. His body is exhausting very quickly, I'd say it is most likely he will die. Are you sure you want to stay?"

Halt nodded, "Yes, I do."

The healer nodded, dragging his chair and another over to the bedside.

"We might as well sit down while we are waiting," he said.

Halt nodded and took the offered chair. They lapsed into a strained silence, both waiting for Will to get better or worse. He got worse. Hs fever continued to spike, never having broken despite what the healer had thought. From time to time, the healer would put a cool cloth of yarrow and white willow on Will's forehead or check his pulse or temperature.

Over the next few days, Gilan, Horace, Evanlyn, and even Crowley and Erak came to sit near Will for a little while at a time. Despite what Halt had said earlier, he no longer seemed angry at Crowley, though he did seem to want to keep Erak out.

Leaving only to take care of himself, the healer was beginning to tire from days with little sleep.

Halt was still watching Will, the healer had had to force him out to take care of himself several times now.

Will's fever was still spiking and each time it did, they expected to see him breathe for the last time. It never came. Just after a particularly bad spike, his temperature began to drop rapidly, slowing about 38.

Letting out a long sigh of relief, the healer shook his head in amazement, "I don't believe it. His temperature is nearly back to normal. I've rarely seen this happen. He was all but dead. A fraction of a degree and he would have died. I don't believe it."

"He's going to live?" asked Halt.

"No assurances, I couldn't give you that, but the lower his temperature drops, the better his chances. At this point, I believe he might. He'll be weak for several days, though. I would guess he will take several days to be healed completely. His fever will probably break during the night. You can stay again tonight if you promise me that you will go take care of yourself tomorrow after dawn," said the healer. It was the bribe he'd resorted to using on people whose loved ones could die any minute.

Halt nodded, "I want to stay."

The healer nodded and they resumed their silent vigil, this one slightly less strained than the others had been.

Will's fever broke that night, returning to 37 around midnight.

The healer was relieved. He'd never seen someone survive that. By rights, he ought to have died. The fact that he hadn't was a miracle.

He had to admire the ranger's loyalty to his apprentice, too. Even now that he was safe, he wouldn't hear of leaving Will until dawn when he'd agreed to.

Maybe he should find himself an apprentice. He was much too old for this anymore. Granted, he hadn't had to nurse anyone all night since the last battle against Morgarath, but it really wasn't good for people his age to be doing this. An apprentice could help a lot and they could do treatment in shifts.

Anyway, he could figure that out later, he had to figure out what was blocking Will's system and why his medicines suddenly helped or if it even had. He shouldn't be this resistant to such simple medicines. Rape wouldn't affect how his body accepted medicines, but the Ranger had mentioned addiction to something. What was it...

An idea struck him suddenly and he turned to Halt urgently, "Ranger, what was it your boy was addicted to?"

"Warmweed," said Halt.

"Warmweed… Warmweed… what is that?" asked the healer.

"It's some drug they gave slaves in Skandia to keep them submissive. I never saw it, though," said Halt.

"I've never heard of it, but it could be affecting Will's immune. I don't like how long it took him to recover. His wound is still leaking pus no matter how many times I drain it. No ointments or anything else seems to help. I think that something in that drug is interfering with my medicines. Would you go ask the Skandians to give me a sample of that drug if they happen to have some?" said the healer.

Just then, Erak came in.

"Perfect," said Halt, "Just the man. Erak, we need to know what was in that warmweed you give your slaves."

"Yes, of course, I'll see if I can get some from the ship," said Erak, turning around and leaving again.

He came back less than fifteen minutes later, holding a handful of dried green leaves. He handed them to the healer saying, "This is warmweed, we got it from some other people we raided centuries back."

The healer took it cautiously, examining it closely. After experimenting with it for several moments, he smiled grimly and said, "Yes, I've seen this before. It's a small wonder he's taking so long to recover if he was addicted to this. It's a killer, these leaves. I've heard it called coca."

Halt cocked his head, thinking, "What does it do, exactly?"

"At first, nothing. It even makes you feel very good for a short while. Used in small amounts, it can even be medicinal, but once you get addicted, it begins to weaken your immune and overdoses can kill you. I'll have to tell the Commandant to make a note of that," said the healer.

Halt nodded.

"It should be out of his system by now, though," said Erak.

"The effects can outlast the drug, unfortunately. He'll be more prone to getting sick and take longer to heal, but he shouldn't have too many more repercussions. He is the luckiest person I've ever met," said the healer.

 **A/N: Due to general votes, Will survived. Besides, he wasn't going to die in the first place. Did you really think I'd kill him in my first fanfiction? In any case, I'm a bit of a sap. I am planning to kill characters in other fanfictions, but I really hate it, you know? For those of you who don't know, coca is the plant from which the drug cocaine is made. It is not used medicinally in many countries anymore, though other countries still do.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I feel like this is just prolonging the story instead of taking it anywhere, but I am attempting to wrap it up.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

It took Will several more days to get back on his feet than it should have, but he did. Then training started back. Knife throwing hadn't been affected nearly as much as archery. He was much slower and less accurate than before. It wasn't like when he'd first started back and his fingers would blister and bleed, but it was still much worse than it had been.

Gilan had been around more than Halt, surprisingly. He always seemed to be around. Will wasn't quite sure what to make of it, either. Were they afraid he was going to drop dead at any moment still? Or were they just trying to keep him from cutting himself?

At first, he hadn't really noticed, but after a few days, he noticed small things. Gilan would pat his shoulder when he did well or Horace would try to break some bones in what passed for a greeting by a knight's standards.

He found gradually that he wasn't flinching as much. He still disliked physical contact and would not initiate it, but he was no longer afraid of people being less than a few feet from him. He found it easiest with Horace, surprisingly.

It made sense in a way, he supposed. Gilan was much stronger than Horace. Horace, he could get away from, but Gilan could do just about anything to him.

Even though he knew in his heart that Horace, Gilan, and Halt wouldn't hurt him, his instincts would not stop insisting that he should be wary of them. The incident with the unknown knight made it worse.

About a week later, the celebration feast finally took place. The King had offered him a place with the royal scouts, but Will had declined in favor of being a ranger.

He had felt he didn't deserve it. After all, what had he done? His leadership had gotten Evanlyn caught in the first place, then he'd been addicted and forced Evanlyn to drag him up to a hunting cabin and wean him off the warmweed. Then she'd gotten caught and would have been killed by the Temujai if it weren't for Halt and Horace. After that, he'd put her in danger a fourth time by having her help during the battle.

In any case, he didn't want to have to put up with all the niceties and airs of court.

Evanlyn had been upset at first, though. She had wanted to patch the quickly widening gap between them. He and Halt were going to leave in two days, anyway, and he doubted he'd see her much after that. She wanted things to go back to how they were, but that was impossible. She was the crown princess to Araluen and he was a former slave, rape victim, and had been a drug addict, no matter what title came before his name.

Two days later, he said goodbye to Horace, Evanlyn, and Gilan and rode off to Redmont with Halt.

Upon arriving, they found the cabin empty, but clean. Obviously, some ranger had stayed there while they were in Skandia. Will couldn't bring himself to care, he was just happy to be home.

That night, he slept without any nightmares for the first time since leaving Skandia.

The next night, few nights, he was tired enough after training to not have any nightmares, but about a week after getting back, he had the first one since Araluen. He had woken to Halt shaking him gently.

Halt had had no expression on his face. As soon as he realized Will was awake he'd turned and left. The next morning he'd asked if Will wanted to talk about it, but had seemed relieved Will declined the offer.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Araluen Castle:**

A few months later, Halt brought up something over breakfast that Will would have rather forgotten about. Hand to hand combat.

Physical contact no longer made him flinch, but it still brought back memories that made him feel sick to his stomach.

On the other hand, he hated to disappoint Halt. There was a time when he'd have done almost anything for Halt, but now he wasn't sure he could summon up enough courage. If he was to become a ranger, he'd have to do it eventually. He didn't know how many times he was allowed to fail a year before he would have to leave the Ranger Corp, anyway.

"Will?" asked Halt.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "I think I could try to."

Sensing his apprentice's hesitancy, Halt said, "Are you sure? If you fail an assessment, it's just another year. It happens."

Will shook his head, "Let's try, at least."

Halt showed him grips and chokes, how to perform them and how to break them. Halt showed him how to punch and kick properly and how to block them. Will seemed to be doing well, so Halt suggested they try sparring.

Halt quickly managed to get Will into a choke. When he did so, Will panicked and Halt quickly let go.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed too quickly," said Halt once Will calmed down.

"I shouldn't be reacting this way!" said Will, angrily.

"You've been through a traumatic experience, of course you should," said Halt, reasonably. "I'd be more worried if you weren't. I've known rangers who have gone through traumatic experiences before, they reacted about the same as you."

"Let's try again, I should be able to do this," said Will, ignoring what Halt had just said.

"No, we'll try again tomorrow, but that was enough for today," said Halt immediately. When he saw Will open his mouth to protest, he added, "We don't have to do anything tomorrow if you don't want to, though."

Will closed his mouth immediately.

"For now, just focus on your other skills. Your geography is just as atrocious as ever," said Halt.

Will obeyed, but that night, he took out his saxe and cut himself.

The next few weeks were frustrating for Will. Try as he might, he'd always eventually have a panic attack. After a panic attack, Halt always refused to do more sparring. What Will seemingly failed to notice was that the length of the spar was steadily growing. The first day's spar was barely five minutes. Now they were spending almost an hour each day sparring, though much of it was spent being choked by Halt.

He found himself going to a small secluded area by a creek to cut more and more often. Try as he might, he couldn't stop himself and he knew he couldn't tell Halt that he'd gone back to cutting on top of his nightly nightmares.

It had become almost a habit. He'd wake up to Halt shaking him. Halt would leave as soon as he was awake and then offer to talk about the nightmare the next morning. Will would always decline.

A week later, he'd gone to the area to cut. Just as he began, though, Halt came to talk to him.

"Will, Pauline- What in Gorlog's Name do you think you are doing?" Halt said.

Will jumped in surprise, he hadn't expected Halt to follow him here.

"H-Halt, I-I-," he began, but Halt cut him off.

"Did almost dying from that infection teach you nothing?" hissed Halt.

"I-it did, but-," Will was once again cut off.

"Then why in Gorlog's name did you start cutting again," roared Halt.

"I-it helps," said Will.

"Helps with what?" asked Halt.

"W-with stress a-and the nightmares," said Will.

"You've been stressed? About what?" asked Halt.

"About the gathering. The cutting helps relieve," admitted Will.

"Will, for someone who went through as much as you have, you are making remarkable progress. It's not the end of the world if you don't pass in five years, Crowley will understand and he's the only one that needs to," said Halt.

"I know, but I should be able to spar without having a panic attack every time," said Will.

"And you should have been safe at Redmont as a ranger's apprentice for the past three years," Halt countered.

"But…" Will trailed off, realizing that Halt had a fair point.

Sensing his advantage, Halt pressed on, "Will, does cutting really help you? It may for the time being, but in the long run, does it really help?"

Will looked down at his feet as he thought about it. He knew it truly didn't help, but he didn't like admitting that it didn't really help. By doing so, he felt he'd be giving up the only way he knew to release his pain. Struggling to find a reason to keep cutting, he finally grudgingly said, "No, it doesn't, really help, but it is habitual for me."

Thinking back to the books, Halt said, "Then let's replace it with another. Instead of cutting, go ride your horse or climb a tree."

Will nodded and said doubtfully, "I could try that."

Halt nodded, satisfied for the moment, "By the way, Pauline just sent over a messenger, Alyss, George, and Jenny want to get together with you tomorrow if your free."

Will looked up in surprise and asked pleadingly, "May I, Halt? It's a free day for most apprentices, anyway."

"If you do your chores and practice archery and knife throwing, you can skip the rest tomorrow, but only tomorrow," said Halt.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice. I don't make any money from this story.**

 **Halt's Cabin, Redmont:**

The get together went rather well, Will thought. He hadn't told them about Skandia except for the bare minimum, though part of him had wanted to tell them, the larger part did not want them to know about it.

The next day, it was back the usual routine. And the next and the next. As he began to get used to sparring with Halt, he stopped panicking as much. After a few more weeks, he'd all but stopped panicking when Halt invariably won. Even so, there were still days when he did panic, rare, but it still happened and he was always aware of the steadily nearing deadline: The Gathering.

As he began to stop panicking as much, he found that he felt the need to cut less and less, though there were days when he would still do it. As often as not, Halt would appear before he could and stop him, giving him the distinct feeling that Halt was watching him most of the time.

While a part of him was hurt that Halt didn't trust him, the Tug side reminded him that cutting had almost killed him and that Halt would have been unlikely to let him far out of his sight, anyway. Not after Skandia.

Later, try as he might, Will would never remember much about the few weeks preceding the Gathering except feelings and a few vague pictures. Fear that he would fail the assessment and embarrass Halt being the most prominent, as well as determination to pass the assessment, excitement to see a real gathering and seeing Gilan again, and triumph in the fact that he'd gone nearly three weeks without a panic attack and thus not feeling the urge to cut.

The only clear memory he had, was of getting his mandola. He had been at the dinner table refletching arrows. Halt had been pouring over reports, seemingly not paying an attention to Will, though in hindsight, thought Will, he probably was focused on making sure I fletched my arrows properly.

 _Just as he had finished putting away supplies, Halt cleared his throat. Will looked at him curiously._

 _"I heard that music can be very therapeutic for people, so, I had an old mandola of mine restrung for you," said Halt. Years later, Will would realize just how polished that speech was and wonder how many times he'd practiced that line._

 _"You played mandola?" asked Will in amazement._

 _"No, an acquaintance of mine did. If you could call the racket he made playing, that is," said Halt._

 _"Was he that bad?" asked Will, curiously._

 _"He'd have you believe he was virtuosic, but yes, he was he was pretty terrible. He gave me the instruments in hopes that it would... What was it again… Ah yes, "...in hopes that this will make you more appreciative of good music etcetera, etcetera." Anyway, I haven't used. Why anyone would make such excruciating sounds for themselves is beyond me. I've never understood why they don't just use it to deafen the enemy. So, it's over by the fire if you want it."_

 _He'd used it a bit, though he wasn't very good at it. He'd decided to get Berrigan to teach him how to play properly at the Gathering. He never really understood what exactly Halt had meant by therapeutic, but perhaps when he got better, he would._


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This is the last chapter. Endings are hard to write. They can't go on and on, but they also can't leave too much unsaid. Hopefully this works. The song at the end was inspiration to write this last chapter. It is one of my favorite songs.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or the song "Inscription of Hope". I don't make any money from this story.**

 **The Gathering:**

Gilan had tried to sneak up on Halt again but failed. They spotted Crowley in his hide and, surprisingly, a few more rangers tried to surprise them, though they failed.

Will passed his tactical, archery, and knifework exams with ease. He had been nervous since he had lost almost a year's worth of training to Skandia, but he found the exams were actually quite easy. Archery was the easiest while unseen movement had needed more work. Halt hadn't thought it conducive to Will's recovery to be jumped at every other second. Not that he'd phrased it that way, mind you.

Now came the real challenge: hand-to-hand combat. In just a few moments, he'd be fighting a man he didn't even know. He wasn't even sure he'd even seen him before. He must be proficient to be testing the third years on this subject, though.

Yet again, Will had to wipe sweaty hands on his trousers. For all the rumors about ranger's and their legendary skills, one of which was keen hearing, none of them seemed to hear how loudly his heart was beating nor did they seem to see that Will was nearly shaking from nervousness.

Finally, Will was the last third-year apprentice to be tested. He walked into the ring and stood facing the ranger who was going to be evaluating him. They stood there, facing each other for a few minutes before the ranger lunged, suddenly at Will. Will flinched reflexively, but soon Halt's teachings came to mind and he began to fight. After a while, the ranger eventually got him trapped and underneath him. Will struggled for a few moments, but eventually yielded.

They left the ring, the ranger going to the command tent and Will to the south side of the grounds, grabbing his mandola as he passed his tent. He walked a bit and eventually found who he was looking for.

"Excuse me, Berrigan?" he called.

The ranger in question turned. He was a grizzled man, as rangers tended to be, and had a stump for a leg.

"Ah, Will, isn't it? Halt's apprentice?" he asked, genially.

"Yes," said Will, "I wanted to ask to help me learn to play this mandola. Halt gave it to me. He said he'd heard music was therapeutic, so I might as well try it."

"Ah yes, I remember giving Halt that mandola years ago. Always wondered what happened to it. Sit down, I'll help you."

Will did as he was told, and Berrigan proceeded to teach him tuning and various chords. A few hours later a sore fingered Will left to find out his scores from Halt.

"Halt!" he said, upon finding the man outside his tent, waiting for him. Halt opened his mouth, but Will spoke over him.

"How did I do? Did I pass? Will-"

"Will! One question at a time!" said Halt, impatiently.

Will subsided immediately, worried. Halt usually wasn't that sharp with him and he did look grimmer than usual if that was possible. Had he failed? He thought he'd done alright, but what if he had to take this year again? Would Halt be upset? Would he-

"As I was going to say, the rangers said they were impressed with your archery and tacticals in particular which is a wonder, given your abysmal daily performance where geography is concerned. They were concerned with the hand-to-hand and unseen movement. The unseen movement was only about average, maybe just under. You barely scraped through. They were disappointed because your last assessment showed a lot of promise in that area. You're hand-to-hand was what they were most concerned about. You were way under par, but they understood the delicacy of your particular situation," here, Halt paused.

"Did I fail my overall assessment?" asked Will when Halt didn't continue immediately.

"Patience, Will, I'm getting there. They were willing to extend some grace, for now, because of your situation. You were graded leniently. They gave you merely below average instead of the poor they would have normally given you. Next year, however, you must be on the higher end of hand-to-hand to pass the assessment. Congratulations, Will," said Halt.

For a moment, Will just stood there, stunned. Then he began smiling, on of his first true smiles since Skandia. The smile soon turned to laughter and when he looked at Halt, he was smiling to, the third time he'd ever seen Halt smile.

For the first time, Will could see light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he wasn't completely well, but it was certainly better. Maybe someday, he'd be free. Free from the ever present pain, free from the nightmares, free from the memories. Someday, maybe, but for now, he was officially a fourth-year ranger apprentice who had survived as more than many grown men.

 _I believe in the sun._

 _Even when it is not shining._

 _And I believe in love,_

 _Even when there's no one there._

 _And I believe in God._

 _Even when he is silent._

 _I believe through any trial_

 _There is always a way._

 _But sometimes in this suffering_

 _And hopeless despair._

 _My heart cries for shelter._

 _To know someone's there._

 _But a voice rises within me,_

 _Saying "Hold on, my child_

 _I'll give you strength, I'll give you hope._

 _Just stay a little while."_

 _I believe in the sun._

 _Even when it is not shining._

 _And I believe in love,_

 _Even when there's no one there._

 _And I believe in God._

 _Even when he is silent._

 _I believe through any trial._

 _There is always a way._

 _May there someday be sunshine._

 _May there someday be happiness._

 _May there someday be love._

 _May there someday be peace._

 _Professor Zane Randall Stroope, Inscription of Hope_


End file.
